As I grow older, I realize more and more that I am alone. But what surprises me is not that truth, but that I am okay with it. I’m alone, and that’s okay. The sooner we accept that fact, the faster we can take hold of our own life.
We are in control.
Instead of feeling depressed by this thought, we should feel a sense of empowerment and urgency to act. No one is obligated to do anything for me, so why would I wait for someone to grant my wishes? No one else can do it for you but you. Therefore, we must move and take hold of our lives instead of leaving it to fate.
Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
Viktor E. Frankl
I’ve been through a lot, as we all have in our own ways. In those dark days, we may have been lucky enough to have loving family and supportive friends. But I’m sure we’ve also realized that people can only do so much. We cannot depend on anyone, no matter how much that person loves us, for our happiness, well-being, or general state of being. We alone control our emotions, actions, and make decisions. Sure, we may be influenced in one way or another, but in the end, we are in control.
You are not a victim.
Therefore, it would be unjust to blame people for the state we are in. To do so is to play the victim. Yes, it would be easier that way. But it also means you are a slave to your circumstances, and can do no better than what the world gives you. However, if you accept that only you can turn that situation around, then you can remove the imaginary shackles that bind you and be free to do what you want.
I understand that it is difficult to accept this. Some of us, including me in the past, are scared to take responsibility for our choices. We would rather leave it to destiny to decide what is in store for us. Looking back, I realize how irrational that was. I did it because I was scared of failing if I did something I wanted. I thought if I chose something others suggested and failed at it, at least I couldn’t be blamed. After all, I didn’t choose it, not really.
But then, who opted to follow that person’s advice? And who will suffer the consequences of not following one’s gut? No one else, but me. I was the one who chose to work for something I didn’t even want. Like the quote below, I let someone plan my life for me, and ended up unhappy.
If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.
Jim Rohn
Be grateful.
This is not to say that we are physically alone. Most of us are fortunate enough to have someone beside us most of our lives, whether that be your partner, family, or friends. They support and love us through our ups and downs. But they also have dreams and challenges of their own.
Despite the battles they are facing, they might make time for you. Because you know yourself how difficult it would be to go out of your way to help someone, be grateful for their help and never take it for granted.
Related: 9 Ways to Incorporate Gratitude Into Your Daily Life
Later, you may or may not separate ways. To cling to and force them to focus on you is not only pointless, but selfish. In the end, we only have our own selves to depend on.
“I’m alone and that’s okay.”
So I say to you, be independent. Love and help all you can, but realize that no one is indebted to you. Thank those who help you, but do not think that anyone is obligated to. Each one of us has our own battles to overcome. We are all alone in that sense, and that’s okay.
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