Start Asking For What You Want

Kathleen

4 years ago

What if I told you the world is ripe for the picking, and the only thing you need to do is ask? It sounds too good to be true. But as I grow older the more I realize that if there’s one thing you should do, it’s to start asking for what you want.

Table of Contents

What do you get when you ask for what you want?

First, you make your intentions known. Whether it’s to quench your curiosity, request a favor, or have something, when you ask, you say what you want. Which is, in a way, what you need to do to get it. If you don’t, how is anyone supposed to know what you desire?

Aside from letting other people know, asking also enlightens you on what you wish for. Before you can even think of asking, you have to be interested in or like to have something. This knowledge is a power that you hold, especially in these days when we are all uncertain about what we want or where we’re going. Knowing what you want sets you in a certain direction and you will be able to ask again and again until you finally get it.

Lastly, asking for what you want will get you answers. Some might be yes, others will be no. But, you will get answers…in the form of opportunities, things, lessons, etc. Think of it like the lottery…the more you ask for what you want, the more chances you get of winning.

What’s stopping us

It seems so easy, really. Ask and you’ll get it. But if it’s that easy, why aren’t we doing it?

Most of the time it’s fear. We fear rejection or judgment. We don’t want to appear stupid.

Sometimes it’s because we assume too much. We automatically think we know the answer, so we don’t even bother to ask. “It’s not possible” or “They’ll obviously say no”, we say to ourselves. But unless you can read minds, how will you know for sure?

All the time, it’s all in our heads. We are our own enemies. We like to think up imaginary scenarios and take them as the truth. But when you break that barrier and start asking for what you want, everything changes.

How to start asking for what you want

Ever since I was young, I seldom asked for what I wanted. I bided my time, waited for the perfect opportunity, and always did it hesitantly, as if I was ashamed of asking in the first place.

In contrast, my siblings would just ask directly, without overthinking things. They just said, “I want this and that”—no shame, no shilly-shallying. And I would begrudgingly observe that most of the time, they ended up getting what they wanted.

Looking back on those instances, I now try to put myself in the shoes of the one being asked. Would I rather people beat around the bush or just go out with it already? I realize it would be the latter. I’m pretty sure many of you will agree. If someone wants something of us, we want them to just say it already so we can already assess if it’s something we can actually give.

3 simple steps to ask for what you want

In this Tiny Buddha blog post, there are 3 simple ways to do it. Know what you want, communicate your position, and stop asking if you deserve it.

First, of course you have to know what you want—whether it’s a discount, a raise, or a new pair of shoes. Only then can you ask.
Second, be honest and say what you want. Go ahead and ask for it!
Lastly, do not overthink and debate on whether you deserve it or not. That is not for you to decide.

Keep applying these 3 steps in daily situations—from simple to complex. As soon as you start asking for what you want, you will develop a certain confidence. It will come more naturally to you with practice.