Bowling was never something I looked forward to. I was always bad at it, with the balls always ending up in the gutter, no fallen pins whatsoever. Whenever it was my turn, I had to brace myself for the agony of onlooker’s judgments, friends’ poorly hidden disappointment, and my own shame. So when my previous company announced that the annual bowling event was approaching, I tried to find ways to get out of it. But of course, I ended up going anyway. I realized it was a good thing, otherwise I never would’ve learned what bowling taught me about life.
At first, I just threw a few obligatory balls for “participation points”. But eventually, the crowd started to clear and one of my close friends urged me to play. Knowing she wasn’t one to judge, and since there were prizes for strikes, I decided to grit my teeth and play some more. Surprisingly, I won my very first strike of the night. The feeling was exhilarating! I couldn’t stop jumping. I never thought it was possible for someone as bad at bowling as me.
I ended up staying longer, encouraged by the strike. The night went on with me winning some, losing some (gutter balls), getting disheartened and self-conscious, but finding the courage to try again.
The lesson bowling taught me about life:
I realize that life is very much like that. Sometimes we win, gain the respect and admiration from people, and then feel pressured to maintain that status. At other times we fail, lose face, and stop for a while, weighing the options: to try again, fail, and go through the embarrassment a second time, or to never take a chance, safe from shame but never knowing what it is to succeed.
When I stood up and bowled again despite the fear of getting consecutive gutter balls again, I took the first choice…and was able to win 3 strikes. Not in a row of course. There were still gutter balls sometimes, but I kept at it, observing how I threw the ball, calculating where I would drop it. Eventually, I heard someone comment that though the balls I threw moved so slow, almost at a glacial pace, it still ended up bowling over a lot of pins. Slow but steady, I guess that was my bowling style. Not just in this game, I realized, but also in real life.
I’m always so careful about the things I do, always doing prior research, planning, and all that to ensure zero to the least amount of mistakes possible. But in the end, bowling made me realize that sometimes, you have to make those mistakes to discover how to play or do things better. Sure, planning is essential. But if we get caught up in all that, sometimes the challenges overwhelm us. We end up not taking action at all. Which is why we need to do something to learn it. Reading and theorizing might get you close to being an expert about something, but not quite. You have to actually DO it.
There’s no substitute for getting out there and trying your hand at the dreams you want to make true. I know this advice applies to me more than anyone. I’ve been hiding my ideas or just writing about them for years, always scared of criticism or failure. But then again, failure is what brings you to success and wisdom. To fail is to succeed, if you do it right. So we need to shape up and start that project and actually work to make our dreams come true. Otherwise, no strikes will ever come.
If you liked this, read Time is Ticking: Pursue Your Dreams Now.
Amy
I can really relate to this. Especially what you said about feeling pressure to maintain a certain status after a win. I have let that fear stop me more than one time. But I’m learning to let go of that fear and just do it anyway. Thanks for sharing this!
Kathleen
Yes! I’m glad you’re choosing to just do it…sometimes that fear is all in our head. It helps to think that no matter what happens, we can always start over and win again!
Julia Hess
I used to go bowling all the time and loved it!! I can’t wait to take our sons bowling. Blogging was definitely a leap of faith for me. I still deal with self-doubt and whether or not blogging is worth it.
Kathleen
That’s totally the opposite of how I feel towards bowling! Haha but yeah that last bowling session I had made me not hate it so much…once you get the hang of it, you can actually get some strikes in! I feel the same way about blogging. I hope you don’t give up! Sometimes we just need to put more work in and have faith. If your heart is in this, you will get through!
Danielle
I love this! This is exaclty how I felt before I started my blog. It was so scary and I kept telling myself that no one will read it anyways. I am happy I took the jump and I am not going to give up! Great post!
Kathleen
Yaay! I can totally relate. Getting myself out there makes me cringe sometimes, but yeah, we have to grin and bear it! Wishing you a wonderful blogging journey ahead!
Brianna
This is an amazing metaphor! I find myself not wanting to try way too often, just like you did out of fear, but I want to give more things a chance instead of shying away. Thank you for the inspiration!
Kathleen
Thank you so much! Sometimes we surprisingly find that things aren’t as difficult as they seemed to be once we actually start doing them. π I’m happy you found this inspiring.
Shannon Rhymer
I have to say that I share the fear of bowling. I start out horrible but as I keep going I get better (not great but better). I feel the same way about doing videos. I hate being in the spotlight but I find that the more I keep trying, the more comfortable I feel about doing them. You are right, if don’t keep trying then you will never get a strike.
Kathleen
That’s so true! We just have to keep doing it to keep getting better. π
Christina Mosteller
I definitely needed to read this. I am trying out something new and the fear of failure after a victory is sometimes paralyzing that you don’t want to move on after the win. Glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. Thank you!
Kathleen
I’m glad this post helped you in some way. π I think this feeling is more common than we think it is. The only way to get over that hurdle and to move forward is to just do it. Good luck with overcoming yours! Sooner or later, it won’t be something new anymore. π
Ann Marie
Strike!!! Thank you for sharing!! This reminded me of a book I read a while ago…Failing Forward by John Maxwell. If we donβt roll the ball, we will not be part of the game, even if it goes in the gutter one in a while, at least we rolled ?
Kathleen
Cool! Will look into that book, thanks. π That’s so true, we have to give it a try at the very least!